Food and Life Updates

Day 255 (4/27/17)

Although the title suggests the latter, let's start with life. Currently at this precise moment in time I'm very happy. I know who my true friends are and I have a great little handful of them. I'm starting a workout program next week that is 100% me based -- not to look better, not to compete better, but to feel better. I want to be healthy, I'm going to be healthy and since moving to New York I have let my health go. I've been getting up at 6:00 in the morning to prepare

for working out early starting next week.
I also am loving my classes: art is easy and informative, health/personal fitness is life changing, anthropology give me a lot of good arguing points, and psychology makes me realize that everyone is a little f*cked up.
I have a mere 38 days left in the big apple, the city that never sleep, New York. Since I was an annoying 12-year-old brat, I told everyone and there grandma's dog (thanks for that one, Joe) that I was going to move to NYC after high school... although I told them I was going to live here forever and be a rich real estate agent too... at least I did what I said I would and what I wanted to at the time. I've put a lot of negativity on myself being disappointed for not liking NY. But that's not fair to me; how was I to know whether I liked living here unless I tried it? I came, I succeeded, I conquered and now I've decided that I want something else. I have been accepted to COCC in Bend and am waiting to hear back from OSU Cascades. I have a great plan for this summer and for next year. I'm so excited to smell fresh air, stomp in fresh mud, and start a fresh beginning. I love my roommate dearly, however we already have trips/activities planned for the next three years -- I think we'll be okay.
Now for Bonnie's favorite part: FOOD! Let's see, the last few weeks I've has a Korean waffle cone style ice cream, a spaghetti doughnut, and the best ice cream in the life... and in America, or so voted by Food Network.
"Smorgasburg is the largest weekly open-air food market in America, attracting 20,000-30,000 people to Brooklyn each weekend to eat from 100 local vendors." Smorgasburg is an amazing hub of crazy delicious food where I have gotten 3 of the best dishes in my life thus far. Two weekends ago it was Wowful -- the Korean waffle cone. The waffle cone has bubbles that are hallow and flakey. The ice cream was rainbow vanilla with Oreo's, strawberries, chocolate sauce, and pokey (another Korean treat). Surprising as large as the ice cream looks it wasn't very dense and didn't leave me feeling dead afterwards.
Last weekend was the spaghetti doughnut. It's not as gross as it sounds. It's spaghetti in the shape of a doughnut. I personally love spaghetti and this was the most revolutionary and mess free way to eat your favorite comfort food! It was a little dry on the outside, but other than that, the texture was amazing, the portion was perfect, and variety was plentiful. Emily got the Man 'n' Cheese one whereas I got the original red sauce one. If I could figure out how to make these I would never have traditional spaghetti again.
Now. For the best ice cream ever. Shout out to mom and pops for watching food shows and keeping me updated about what's in my own city. Ample Hills Creamery. I got a scoop of the "Munchies" which included vanilla ice cream with pretzels, Ritz Crackers, potato chips, and M&M's. I also got a scoop of "Ooey Gooey" of which is vanilla ice cream with chunks, and I mean chunks, of St. Louis style butter cake. I almost regret going here because no ice cream will ever be the same. Either way I hope to have more amazing food in the last few weeks here that I can (virtually) share with you all!

Love Thyself

The notion of hating yourself is romanticized in the media. Some poor lonely girl who’s gorgeous, smart, competent, and has a bright future – yet she hates herself. Then a boy comes along who she barely, slowly, lets in after months and months of him proclaiming his love for her she finally opens up and discovers what everyone else see’s in her.
Hating yourself isn’t romantic… but it’s also not worked on often. Girls hates themselves for their whole lives. Why? Because they put all their ‘self-love’ into someone else. They wait for someone else to make them see how great they are. How does this make sense? How can you love yourself through someone else’s eyes? That’s not how life works. You can hate yourself, you can want to die, you can dismiss your reflection, and yell at yourself and cut yourself and… but at the end of the day you still are who you are. You’re still going to feel lost or ugly or fat. You’re still going to hate your stretch marks or moles or fat roles. But why? Why is there such a social need to hate yourself? How can we even say “I’m not as ____ as them.” How?! Of course you’re not at _____ as them! They’re different! Your finger print isn’t as loopy as theirs, does that make you hate yourself? No? Oh, so only some differences matter? Well then everyone should hate themselves because everyone is different.
Hating yourself isn’t romantic. It’s self-destructive. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror change it. Change it because YOU want see YOURSELF when you look in the mirror. Not because you want to see THEM in the mirror. If you don’t like what you hear in your head, change what YOU say. You only have power over yourself. Change what you do and what you say and how you act and who you interact with because you want to feel more like yourself, not because you want to feel like or look like them.
Hating yourself isn’t romantic. Being sick isn’t romantic. Being depressed isn’t romantic. Being lonely isn’t romantic. It’s miserable. It takes work. It takes strength. Unneeded work and strength. Love yourself and love yourself without a “but” at the end. Comparing yourself to other people takes so much nitpicking and energy and measurements. Just love yourself and gravitate towards what makes you feel and look more yourself.