The Differences I've Noticed

Day 71 (10/24/2016)
Hey everybody! Sorry I haven't been blogging as much. My roommate and I have been mildly sick for the past few weeks so we haven't been doing much adventuring. This weekend was a stay-at-home and watch movies weekend. Since I discovered what I really want to do and where I really want to be, it's been harder to stay focused on the now. But it's gets better every day!

From riding the train, to walking to streets, I've noticed a few minor, yet huge, differences between Oregon and New York.

1) The houses don't have garages. I work in Long Island, there aren't skyscrapers and thousands of people. There are rows and rows of houses with a few main roads of businesses. The houses look different, they're long and skinny, they're mostly brick, and they don't have garages! A lot of people here take public transit such as cabs, Ubers, and train, so garages are needed less. Also, when home owners do have cars the just park on the street... or in their backyard.

2) The backyards are paved! I see rows and rows of backyards for a couple hours a day and probably 80% of them are completely or mostly paved. Sometimes there will be a nice deck, or a nice fire pit area, but often times cars are parked in the backyard. I don't know why? I'm sure people on New York enjoy a nice summers day just as much as people in Oregon? But, maybe they go elsewhere to enjoy it or they're less home-bodied. Either way it makes for an interesting sight.

3) Drivers drive like animals, yet give each other an extreme amount of room when stopped at a light. I constantly hear horns honking, I constantly see cars going the wrong way down a one-way lane, I constantly see close-calls. Yet, when cars are stopped at red light, there's almost a whole cars length in between them. I don't understand they thought process of driving dangerously at high speeds, yet being delicate and careful once stopped.

4) The cars aren't dirty. In Oregon you can tell when a car is new; there's a sleek layer of clear-coat, the tires are jet black, and the headlights are completely unfogged. When I first moved here I kept wondering why every car looked so nice. I'd see a 2001 Hyundai Elantra (the very car I used to drive) and it'd look 10 years newer than mine... It's because there's no dirt. There's no grass or bark on the side of the road, there's no places to go mudding, there's hardly any leaves to fall. There is no dirt, no natural residue, nothing. Nothing get's on the cars to wear them down so even cars from the early 90's look relatively fresh.

5) The temperature difference is very slight. I'm used to leaving for school in the morning in 40 degree weather and coming home in the afternoon in 60 degree weather. However, that's not the case here. In the morning (around 6:00 am) is when the day hits it's coldest. Lately it's been around 65 during the day which is my favorite. However, it doesn't drop 20 degrees over night. It only drops about 5 degrees. The humidity and the buildings keep the temperature locked in making extreme temperature fluctuations very rare.

Back At It

Day 63 (10/16/2016)
It's been a week of low exercise and a lot of eating. Mom has been sick and she got me sick through the phone (I swear it's a legitimate way to get sick). Although I didn't have the flu, the glands in my neck were very swollen and I was very sleepy. I didn't workout until Friday, then again on Saturday. I upped all the leg machines by 20 pounds and did some serious inline cardio yesterday.
Today my sickness has gone from my throat to my nose. I can't stop sneezing and sniffling. Last week I had sandwiches for lunches and didn't really eat dinner. This week is back to rice and chicken
for lunch and eggs with chicken for dinner. I'll also hit the gym Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Hopefully the added calories and protein will kick the sniffles to the curb.
Friday was national dessert day, so of course Emily and I got ice cream. We went to a place called Oddfellows in Williamsburg. They had funky flavors like maple-bacon pecan, lychee sorbet, and cornbread. I had chocolate caramel toffee and sprinkle ice cream which was vanilla bean ice cream with sprinkles in it. The feel of the parlor was very 50's, the staff was great, and the flavors were very strong. I actually stayed on top of my homework this week so I went to bed early on Friday!
Saturday, Emily and I went to shops around Union Square to find electronics she needed for work. It was a complete bust, we were exhausted, and hungry. Food it was!
We went to a burger joint called 5Napkin. I had a "Spicy Blue" burger. It had jalapeno bacon with a jalapeno blue cheese sauce. It was cooked perfectly with a fresh crunchy bun to top it off. The place also had shakes. And we wanted shakes. I got a s'mores shake that had a marshmallow based ice cream with chocolate syrup and graham cracker chunks. It was delicious!
That night we went out again. It's nice to go some place every weekend where I can meet new people as well as see familiar faces. It's nice to say that I genuinely have many friends here. Also, Emily and I have a tradition to get naan every night after we go to a party.
I got my laundry and shopping done yesterday so today I got to sleep in yet again! My favorite things to do are: sleep, eat pizza, eat ice cream, and eat peanut butter. Honestly all I did was today was buy a small piece of luggage to use when I come home for Christmas and of course got more ice cream, We went to a place called Big Gay Ice Cream and it was amazing. It's soft serve ice cream with many cone options, filling options, and topping options. I got a "Bea Arthur" because I'm obsessed with the Golden Girls. It was vanilla ice cream coated with Nilla wafer dust in a waffle cone filled with peanut butter! It was delicious and a great way to end the week.
The past few weeks have been really good. I've stopped comparing myself to other people, I've realized that eating an unhealthy meal doesn't mean I'm unhealthy, taking a break due to illness is okay, and I'm really excited to go to school next year.
OSU Cascades has classes that genuinely appeal to me and things I've enjoyed since I was a child. I can honestly see myself living in Bend. I have always loved going to Bend every year to see my aunt and uncle. I like the dry climate, I like the outdoor options, and the busy downtown. I was talking to my mom and I actually said "it's okay, I don't need to plan my life out all right now" and I wasn't even forcing myself to say it! The point is: I can make it in New York, I love it here, I'm at peace with myself, and I'm excited for my future.

A Decision?

Day 57 (10/10/2016)
This weekend was laid back. Emily had work to do in Philly, at home, and at work. On Friday I went to a party like normal and had a great time seeing familiar faces as well as meeting new people. We were in a 60 story building with large terraces and an amazing view. I tapped out early and went to bed around midnight. Unfortunately the cold weather is catching up with me and I'm beginning to get sick so all Saturday I slept to try to kick it to the curb -- it definitely helped.
On Sunday Emily and I made pancakes for breakfast before she left for work. Of course I smothered mine in peanut butter and syrup! It's the best way to go! Then I took a nap on the couch while "watching" Forest Gump.
I didn't want to find new places to eat without Emily so I went to a local pizzeria and had a couple slices of cheese pizza. Then because 800 calories of pizza wasn't enough, I went and got frozen yogurt. Chocolate, cookies&cream, and dulce de leche frozen yogurt topped with cookie dough bites, Oreo crumble, chocolate pretzels, M&M's, and marshmallow fluff. It was amazing. Although I get virtually the same thing every time, I always feel like I've created a masterpiece.
I went home and picked up the apartment, did laundry while reading my accounting book, and went grocery shopping. I decided that I don't want to get tired of my rice and chick lunches, so I'm going with plain old sandwiches this week.
I went to bed very late last night because I procrastinated with my accounting homework again. However, I've been working on my school work already this morning and will be going to bed around 8:00 tonight so I can hit the gym in the mornin'.
I got to call my uncle Tracy and tell him some very exciting news last night:
I actually have my feet on the ground here. I'm saving money, I have friends, I have a job, and I've gotten my schooling balanced finally. I do like New York. I like the crazy drivers, I like the amount of cheap public transportation, I like the crisp mornings and the pigeons and the pizza and the people. I do genuinely enjoy it here. It's been a great 2 months (minus a few weeks of mental torture) and it'll be a great 10 months. But I think that's all it'll be. It'll be a life changing, eye opening, character building 10 months.
I have a lot of options for school next year; I could go to NYU, UofO, Chemeketa, CWU, Colorado Mountain College, etc. The point is I can do anything. I can write, I can balance spreadsheets, I can operate a business, I can manage people, I can teach students, I can draw plans for buildings. I can do anything. However I took a second to stop thinking about how I'm going to get what I want and instead started thinking more about what I want. Honestly, I can't see myself going to work every day writing articles for a newspaper or magazine, I can't see myself drawing and developing buildings, I can't see myself punching numbers and balancing spreadsheets. I can, however, see myself being outside, teaching people, and traveling. Impossible to have as a job? False.
OSU Cascades is located in Bend, Oregon and has a major in "Tourism and Outdoor Leadership." It's a great way to learn about business and communications as well as outdoor risk management, touring other countries, and guiding others on trails.
I used to want multiple homes, millions of dollars, and extravagant everything but I've begun to realize, that doesn't strike my fancy anymore. I don't care about things. Although purchases and ownership makes some people happy, it doesn't for me. I want to travel, and hike, and teach people about trails and natural history. I want to have 4 seasons of weather and a lack of smog.
I'm greatly leaning towards OSU Cascades and I'm very excited about it. I won't be happy to be a Beaver, but I'll be happy to be in Bend.

Relax

Day 54 (10/7/2016)
Honestly, time has flown by. 54 days is a (relatively) long time, and in that time a lot has happened.
Last week was tough getting used to working out and eating healthy and doing my school work. But this week has been much better. I went to the gym on Tuesday and went again today (Friday). Although it wasn't a set schedule, after working out tomorrow I'll get my 3 days in, and that's all that matters to me. I've put less pressure on myself to plan an exact schedule each week -- it's been extremely helpful. Also, I've stopped trying to cut my calories so much, I don't want to lose weight, I want to gain muscle. I want to be strong. In order to fuel my muscle growth I've been eating more, and let me tell you. It's been amazing.
This has been the 2nd week of school and I realized that I put too much on my plate. I decided to drop a class due to it's confusing layout and the fact that I already know a lot of the information in the course. It feels much better only having to manage and complete 3 classes instead of 4. If I really focus I can get my classes done Monday-Thursday at work, so if I want to get ahead I can do that too, which will eventually elevate even more stress.
I think working out consistently and focusing my brain power on school work has helped my anxiety a lot. I've come to realize that I have many options for school next year and no matter what I chose it'll be a good decision. If I go to a school that isn't in New York I'm not going to doom myself for the rest of my life. And if I go to a school that is in New York, then I'm going to need to find places to hike (lol, right?).
I miss my family and friends dearly but I am starting to make a life for myself here and it feels great to be independent. I've gotten close with my family over the last few years so of course I still talk to them often, but at this point it's not because I need to talk to them. It's because I want to talk to them; and that's made a huge difference.
I normally want an exact plan for everything that I do. I constantly make lists and spreadsheets and I clarify times and I make countdowns. I'm very systematic. That's why I chose business and why I chose New York. I thought it was the most logical place to go for exponential business growth. But as I start to reflect on myself (why I did this, I don't know. It messed everything up) I've realized that I'm not very passionate about business on a large scale. Of course I loved my business classes in high school, I loved running the Titan Branch, and I loved doing marketing. I was passionate about the Titan Branch. It benefited my school, my community, and myself. Plus I had Mrs. Kilfoil which motivated me more than anything.
If I'm not interested in what I'm doing, if it's making me fall asleep, then I'm not going to do my best work. I just want to major in, and work in an industry that is going to allow me to give it my all. Some people may think I've lost my strength, some people may think I have failed, and many will question my decision to change courses. However, I feel so much better realizing that I'm not stuck somewhere that I don't want to be. I'm no longer doubting myself, I have motivation, I have enthusiasm, and I have energy (for the first time in my life). Moving out and living here has been very mentally cleansing. I know that I can take care of myself, I know that I can trust my decisions, and I know that I don't need to be coddled (uh-hum, Joe).
 I'm finally not terrified of the future, I'm genuinely ready and excited.

Day 50 (10/3/2016)

I'm writing this on Monday instead of Sunday because I didn't go and do my laundry yesterday, so I didn't sit down and write. I had more important things to do. Like get frozen yogurt. Come on people, priorities!!
This week has been a good one, and this weekend has been an even better one. This week I learned. I learned that no matter what I do, there is going to be someone who just doesn't like it. This, however, does not mean that I should give up on trying new things. This means that I should give up on caring about other's thoughts on my trying new things.
I moved to New York. I live in New York. Maybe I'll stay here for another 7ish months, maybe I'll stay here for another 3 years, maybe I'll stay here forever. The important part is: I no longer feel stuck due to the opinions and judgement of others. I, and you, have a whole world of options. How dare I not challenge myself, see the scenery, change my circle, and explore all of my options. It would be ridiculous and immature of myself to stay somewhere that I didn't feel right strictly because of the potential judgement from others. This week I realized that I have options and nobody's opinion will change that fact.
Anyway!
This weekend was great! Emily and I got fancy Italian dinner and dessert. I had Pancetta Ravioli in a 4 cheese balsamic vinaigrette sauce. The dish was amazing. Truly, truly authentic Italian. We finished off dinner with tiramisu. I'm getting more used to the flavor of coffee, I actually enjoy it now, so the tiramisu was delicious. Mocha-y, chocolaty, fluffy, it was great.
On Saturday Emily and I ventured around our neighborhood to see what kind of shops Myrtle had to offer. 99 cent stores around every corner, small department stores, packed Hallmark stores, and puppy shops. Yes. Puppy shops. We saw puppies galore. To reward ourselves for not buying a dog, we got frozen yogurt and bubble tea. We went out with Daniel and Justine Saturday night and Sunday afternoon Justine, Daniel, and I went out to brunch. Of course I had pancakes but they weren't smothered in peanut butter and syrup this time. They were enhanced with a slice of butter and topped with fresh fruit.
Emily and I didn't go to any crazy ice cream shops this weekend, but we did get frozen yogurt twice and we had BBQ rib pizza which was to die for -- it was clearly more elegant that $1 cheese pizza.
Going to work today I still don't have much to do. But I do have school to learn from, I have cold air to breathe from, and I have great people to grow from. Not feeling stuck in New York allows myself to think of more options: Colorado, Washington, Oregon, London, Maine, etc. Also, spending more time with people here give me more of a hope that NYU may still be a good option for me. Regardless what I decide to do for schooling I'm going to make the decision that is best for ME. I appreciate everyone's support, suggestions, and guidance, but ultimately I will have to be the one to make my future decisions. At the end of the day it's me alone with my thoughts and my life choices. I'd like to do something that leaves me sleeping easy and excited to wake up in the morning. Until then.