I don't really know what to post anymore. I've eaten a lot of amazing food, I've gone to a lot of amazing places, but now I've settled into my life here. I have 40 hours of work and now 40 hours of school work. The majority of my time is spent in front of a computer either working on work or homework.
I've learned a lot this term already and it's only week three. I'm taking a class called Freshman Year Experience because it's required for my scholarship. It teaches you how to stay on a successful path throughout college and life. Thus far it's been amazing. I've been able to diagnose my own "victim" mind set at times and fix it. I've come to realize that I can't control everything, as much as I want to, but I can control my reaction and decisions. I'm very happy to say that I've been keeping busy at work, I've been staying on top of school, and I've been working out five days a week. I'm doing a 20 week cut although it's not "cutting season". I really want to lose about 15-20 pounds in 20-30 weeks. Then I want to up my calories to 1800-2200 and do a little less cardio and a lot more weights.
It's really an awesome feeling to just accept total control for yourself. Mentally and physically. I've seen changes in my body and it's because of the work that I have put it. It's because of my dedication and commitment. I've been paying close attention to my body to make sure I'm not dizzy, I don't have headaches, and I'm not always starving. I've eaten in a high deficit but I did it for way too long and it was out of self hate. This time I'm only cutting for 20-30 weeks (instead of 3 years) and I'm also allowing myself to have sugar and carbs a little on the weekends and up my calories by a couple hundred once a week. All in all I've already lost about 5 pounds, my clothes are fitting looser, and my energy is up.This week I finally hung up a tapestry that Breonna and Brandon got me for Christmas -- I love it. It's elephants, gray, and red -- my three favorite things. It makes my room darker and channels my inner hippy, which I love. Also I got fake nails for the first time ever... and removed them two days later. I type pretty fast (thanks to my mama and Mr. Halsey), but with those nails I couldn't do ANYTHING. I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't grab anything, I couldn't do anything. Long story boring I soaked them in acetone for 30 minutes and I have my boy hands back.
I am also happy/sad to say that I have officially booked my flight back to Oregon. The thought of having to pack up all my stuff and ship it back across the country is a little daunting. I have made a life for myself here and I will, in essence, be getting rid of that. I'll smell, see, taste, feel, and hear things for the rest of my life that will remind me of New York. My first apartment, my first time paying rent, my first time becoming comfortable leaving the house alone, my first time cooking all of my own meals, my first time on a plane by myself. New York has provided me with a lot of firsts that I will forever be thankful for and proud of. The skyline will never cease to amaze me, the smells will never cease to intrigue me, and cites will never cease to mesmerize me. Whatever I choose to do from now will never be the same -- it'll be a different adventure filled with different firsts.This weekend Emily and I will be getting giant ice cream sandwiches and I will be posting pictures!
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