Day 24 (9/7/2016)

My first and second day of work are completed! Eight hours a day, five day a week. I’m a regular worker bee. Last night I got home from my first day of work and wanted to head to bed (around 8pm), but I had to go grocery shopping. I wish I still ate like crap because let me tell you, candy and chips sound so good sometimes… but I don’t. I eat boring things like rice, chicken, rice cakes, whole wheat sandwiches, fruit smoothies, etc. But on the weekends Emily and I go out. We’ve decided to find a new sweets place (cookies, ice cream, cake) on Saturday’s, and either go to breakfast or get a savory meal on Sunday’s. Personally I like it best when we find cookies, ice cream, and sweet breakfast foods, but she’s more into savory foods, so we keep each other balanced.

It’s interesting seeing people going back to school for their first day of senior year today. That glorified day was only a year ago for me, but it feels like forever. I’m trying to think of all the things that have changed since my first day, honestly I couldn’t even think of everything if I’ve tried. Of course there’s been loss. But there’s been so much gain. Breonna, Emma, and I got a lot closer and had many adventures. I had the best job in the world. I turned 18. I flushed toxic people from my life. I graduated from high school with all my best friends. Oh yeah, and I moved to New York.

That last one has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it? It’s funny looking back at old memories and thinking “I wanted to move to New York then. Even then. Even they knew I wanted to move to New York” and here I am. I thought I’d never say the words “I miss high school”, but I kind of do. My college writing class was amazing, I figured out who my true friends were, and my whole life was about the Titan Branch and Maps CU, of which I loved. However, I would not go back even if I had the chance to. There is so much beyond high school and even college. In high school, I thought I knew everything and I thought I had my life all planned out. Then I did the only thing I ever wanted to do and here I realized that my 18-year-old self doesn’t in fact know everything. How crazy is that?!

I kind of feel like a stick in the mud now to be honest. Thinking that you know everything adds a certain amount of un-backed confidence, but when you realize that you still have a lot to learn, it can be kind of intimidating. But I’m ready. When I first moved here I was so culture shocked. I was so afraid. I felt so alone. I just wanted to go back home. And Oregon is always an option. Manhattan is an option. Upstate is an option. The point is, I have limitless options – as does everyone else. Just because you’ve been doing the same thing for an x amount of years doesn’t mean that you can’t decide to change what you’re doing. (It’s funny because everything I’m saying is what my mom told me).

I’ve just begun to realize that I’m not stuck. I have options, I have the work ethic to execute those options, and in the words of Frank Sinatra, “if I can make it here, I know I can make it anywhere.” I’ve been kind of a stickler, stuck on the computer between job applications, scholarship applications, college research, and Netflix that I feel like I need to get out more. Emily and I are going to another NYU party on Friday and hopefully we’ll go to this amazing looking cookie shop on Saturday. But if Emily can’t come, then I’m going to go by myself. She’s not here to take the place of holding my hand. She’s here to do her thing, as am I. By June I want to go to the World Trade Center, top of the Empire State Building, Liberty Island, a zoo, and 5 famous places to grab a bite to eat.

I love to take pictures, I love to write about my experiences, and I love to let everyone know what I’m up to. And as of right I’m working and focusing on school. But don’t worry. More adventures are to come.