Day 45 (9/28/2016)

Where the heck has time gone? Somehow it's almost October and there are just over 3 months left in the year of 2016. It feels like I'm still just a freshman in high school meeting new people, learning new things, and discovering wonderful teachers. But. I'm not a high school freshman. I'm a college freshman and honestly that freaks me out.
Yesterday was another rough day. I got up and worked out at 6am, took a shower and had my smoothie, but by the time I was walking out the door I was already exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open walking to the subway and I had to set an alarm on the train to ensure that I didn't miss my stop. Work was slow, but I actually got all the assignments for one of my classes done. I tried to remain productive and I tried to remain positive, but it's hard some days.
I stress about money, school, work, and heath for the now, but I also stress about school, work, and living arrangements for the future. I don't like not having a plan because without a plan I don't have something definitive to work towards. I understand that this is a normal part of life, most people don't have an exact plan, I'm only 18, and shouldn't be stressing myself this much. I just feel as though my life is going by day by day without my control. But that is the way time works.
However, I do know what I want to do for school. I really want to go to NYU and live on campus at least for my first year there. It'll be difficult to go from having my own apartment to living in a small space with 2-5 other people, but it will give me a chance to meet more people and more specifically will give me a chance to meet more like minded people. My grades are good, but my SAT scores weren't the best. Hopefully with good grades, okay test scores, and a great essay, I'll be able to get in. Because I'll be a transfer student I have even longer to apply, think, and practice.
Today has already been better. I went to bed early and slept in until 7:30. I added more protein to my smoothie and ensured that I'd have bread with peanut butter to eat as soon as I got to work. I have more energy and have already gotten a few things done. There are ups and downs no matter your economics, place of residence, age, amount of support. None of that matters. There will be success, and there will be struggle.
I often go through life taking shallow, fast paced breaths (figuratively), so maybe it's about time I slow down and take a couple deep breaths (figuratively).